100 WC

Three of us. We were the only ones, the only ones to make it to the island. I fell to the floor my legs collapsed beneath me. My arms wrapped around my head as tears slowly started to form down my pale cheeks. Crack! My body bounced back up, wiping the tears from my face I instantly noticed something was wrong. Crack! I spun around to find a man eating tornado staring me dead in the eye. As it came rushing towards us we took a split second to long to react. As Its massive wide mouth took us whole.

One thought on “100 WC

  1. antsclass says:

    Ziggy-this is dynamite writing!
    You start with those three words, that hook us in wondering and creating immediate suspense. You then use rich description to ‘show-not-tell’ the emotions in long complex sentences. Then you break this with an abrupt single sound-immediately re-establishing the tension. This is excellent use of your limited words and sentences to create a pace that matches your mood.
    But by far my favourite aspect was the way you brought the ‘man-eating’ tornado to life, by having it figuratively stare at you then swallow you with its figurative ‘wide-open-mouth’.

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